The Once-In-A-Lifetime (2009)
fade in:
int. room - day
A hand places a Gradesis High Season 4 DVD into a computer's player.
On the screen, a theme song plays along with the opening credits of a 1990 teen drama, which features JANE DE KLERK, a pretty woman of 20 who has girl-next-door looks.
int. restaurant movie set - same
Jane, now 39, and still beautiful -- albeit somewhat out-of-shape -- takes a sip of wine across from a brooding, unattractive MAN nearly half her age.
director (o.s.)
Roll tape! Action!
jane
They just don't see your greatness.
man
(over-dramatically)
They're fools. Fools!
jane
I'm so hot for you and your ennui.
man
Shut up.
jane
I love it when you treat me like dirt.
director (o.s.)
Cut!
Jane takes a deep breath and stands up. She walks past the GAFFER, a young man in his early twenties who's adjusting a set of makeshift lights, and the DP, a man about the same age who's fiddling with a small, inexpensive digital camcorder.
int. movie set - later
Jane, who's leaning against a wall with her head down, checks her watch.
director (o.s.)
Siobhan, babe!
Jane reluctantly lifts her head and forces a smile as the DIRECTOR, a geeky-looking young man who could easily pass as a high-school student, approaches.
He kisses her on both cheeks, causing her to wince twice.
director (cont'd)
That was just awesome.
jane
Yeah?
director
I've got some great news. We think we can fit in a cameo for you. You don't mind going topless, do you?
jane
So, I'm not getting the role?
director
It's not you, babe -- it's the role. But there's no small parts, right?
Jane starts to walk away, but he steps in front of her.
director (cont'd)
Man, you're beautiful -- even prettier than you were on that TV show. You know, I always used to watch it when I was a little kid.
jane
If you'll excuse me.
She tries to walk around him, but he steps in front of her again.
director
How about I take you out for some tofu?
He clumsily rubs her shoulder. She warily eyes his hand.
director (cont'd)
We can talk over the cameo in detail.
He smiles at her, displaying his braces.
ext. warehouse - later
Jane angrily bursts out the door into a seedy Los Angeles district, with a large purse around her shoulder. It's so hot outside that steam's rising from the asphalt.
As she hurries down the sidewalk, she passes a GUY about her age. He stops in shock and turns toward her.
guy
Siobhan?
She stops -- but doesn't turn around -- and sighs, before putting on a pair of sunglasses from her purse.
guy (cont'd)
Is that really you?
jane
It's me.
He dances toward her and steps in front of her smiling.
guy
Could I have your autograph?
jane
Sure.
He feels around himself.
guy
You wouldn't happen to have some paper?
She politely smiles and looks in her purse.
guy (cont'd)
And a pen.
She takes out a pen and paper and signs her name.
guy (cont'd)
"Gradesis High" is my favorite show of all time. They sure don't make them like that anymore.
She hands him the paper. He reads it and looks surprised.
guy
Who's Jane De Klerk?
jane
Me.
guy
But -- but I want Siobhan's autograph.
jane
Siobhan was the character I played. You understand the difference, don't you?
She starts to walk away. He looks confused.
guy
But . . .
ext. street corner - later
Jane steps into a cheap car that looks at least fifteen years old. She turns the ignition, and smoke rises from under the hood.
later
She looks inside the hood, from which some smoke still lingers. She turns around and sees a gas station a block ahead.
later
Leaning against the car, she struggles pushing it toward the station, wiping sweat from her eyes as she does.
later
She pushes the car into the station.
She looks down and sees that her dress is sooty.
int. gas station - later
Jane, still wearing sunglasses, talks with a MALE ATTENDANT, who's sitting behind the counter reading a comic book with his feet up.
attendant
Sorry, lady -- we only serve gas.
jane
What should I do?
attendant
Call Triple A.
jane
I'm not a member.
attendant
Then, perhaps you should join.
He turns the page of his comic book.
ext. gas station - later
Jane exits and walks toward her car.
A group of six rough-looking and rowdy HISPANIC MEN drive into the station, inside a beat-up brown car that's even older than Jane's. They pull up to a pump and exit the car.
One of the men notices Jane. He smiles and taps the chest of the LEADER, a tall, handsome man with curly black hair. The leader smiles.
Jane uneasily watches the leader approach. Instinctively, she crosses her arms.
leader
Is something wrong?
jane
No.
leader
Are you sure?
She nods her head nervously.
leader (cont'd)
Okay.
He turns and walks away.
Jane
It's my car.
He stops and turns back to her.
leader
Would you like me to look at it?
jane
If it's not a bother.
later
He carefully checks under the hood.
leader
Your radiator hose is broken.
jane
Is that bad?
leader
(to other men)
Yo! There's some tape in the glove compartment. And someone get some water.
later
The leader closes the hood.
leader
You should be okay. But you really need to get it replaced as soon as possible.
jane
Thank you so much. Is there anyway I can repay you?
He smiles.
leader
Yes.
She crosses her arms.
jane
What?
leader
You can smile.
She smiles.
leader (cont'd)
You have a beautiful smile.
jane
Thank you.
He turns and walks away, waving goodbye.
leader
Hasta la vista.
jane
Hasta la vista.
ext. 405 freeway onramp - later
The light turns green and Jane's car drives out onto the freeway. The traffic is relatively light.
inside the car
Jane sighs with relief.
on the freeway
Jane's car follows a bend in the road, revealing a twenty-mile backup of cars.
inside the car
Jane lowers her head and sighs with agony.
ext. freeway - later
Jane's car is stuck in traffic. Cars HONK their horns.
inside the car
Jane fans herself with her hand, before turning up the air conditioner. The air conditioner suddenly dies. She puts her hand on her forehead and closes her eyes.
Moments later, she rolls down the window and starts choking on the foul air. She wipes her eyes and sees that the car ahead of her has moved a little.
She puts her foot on the gas, just as another car cuts in front of her. She slams on the brake, barely avoiding a collision.
She clenches her hands around the steering wheel and shakes her head.
jane
I'm not gonna scream. I'm not.
outside the car
Jane screams off-screen.
ext. long beach - SUNSET
Jane parks her car in a modest neighborhood.
ext. apartment courtyard - later
Jane unlocks the front door and enters. She hears the back entrance OPEN and CLOSE.
She walks to her mailbox and takes out a handful of letters; and after tossing the remaining junk mail in a nearby garbage can, she heads toward what looks like a converted two-story motel.
At the same time, JACK CORSETTE enters the building from the back entrance. He is about fifty, wearing baggy Walmart-quality clothes. His haircut is so bad that it must've been done by himself. But despite this clownish visage, he is not unattractive.
As she reaches the front staircase, he reaches the back one. They stop for a moment and smile politely at each other.
They each walk up their respective staircases at the same pace -- arriving on the top floor at the same time. Walking in the opposite direction, they arrive at their respective units, which are directly across from each other.
They look at each other one more time before entering their apartments.
int. jane's apartment - same
Jane walks into the cheaply furnished living room and drops the letters onto a coffee table. She sees that there is a couple of messages on her answering machine.
She heads toward the bathroom.
later
Wearing a robe, Jane exits the bathroom, releasing steam into the foyer that connects the bathroom with the rest of the apartment. She turns and looks into the full-length mirror in front of her.
She opens her robe and looks unhappy at what she sees.
later
Jane presses the answering machine button and picks up the mail from the coffee table. She scans through a set of bills with a distinct lack of interest -- not bothering to even open them.
mom (v.o.)
Hi, dear -- it's Mom. Just wanted to see how you are doing.
jane
Just great.
She opens a large yellow envelop, finding a humorous birthday card depicting an old woman carrying a cane.
mom (v.o.)
You must be so excited -- with the big four-oh just around the corner. Did you get my card?
jane
Real funny, Mom.
Mom chuckles. Jane tosses the card onto the coffee table.
mom (v.o.)
I'd so like to share your joy. Why don't you fly out here. I'll even pay for the ticket.
Jane sneers.
mom (v.o.; Cont'd)
And I won't be the only one happy to see you. That nice Matthew Weintraub's always asking about you at the country club. You know, he just opened a new office --
Jane hits a button on the answering machine, skipping the machine to the next message.
man (v.o.)
Hi, this is Madison Coll --
Jane hits the button again.
max (v.o.)
Hey, kid -- it's Max. Don't fret about that penny-ante callback today -- I got you something way better: an audition for a network show.
jane
You're kidding.
max (v.o.)
I'm not kidding. It's a vehicle for Stu Silver. And it's already been greenlit. I'll overnight you the scenes as soon as I get them.
She shakes her fist in joy.
jane
Yes!
max (v.o.)
I knew you'd be excited. Take care. Love ya. And, hey, how about getting that cell phone turned back on.
The message ends. Jane rushes over to a stack of entertainment magazines, roughly rummaging through half of them until she finds the one she wants. She opens it.
She looks at a picture of STU SILVER, who is an extraordinarily handsome man in his early forties. The title of the article reads: "HOLLYWOOD'S NICE GUY."
She puts her fingers on his picture and smiles.
ext. bluff park - day
On a giant hill overlooking the ocean, Jack hauls a large container of cat food. He climbs over a rail and takes a few steps downward.
With him dispensing food and water into bowls is SAW, an immense man in his late thirties -- who has a Mohawk haircut and tattoos over every inch of his body -- and SAL, a nerdy-looking guy in his forties who has a high-pitched voice.
A dozen FERAL CATS mill around the men.
Sitting on a nearby bench -- in front of a long and narrow grass field -- STAN, an elderly homeless man with tattered clothes, reads a used copy of the Wall Street Journal.
stan
I'm thinking of diversifying into T-bills.
jack
You'd probably do better with an instrument that has a longer tenor.
stan
The only tenor I know is Pavarotti.
jack
What I'm saying is that thirty-year treasuries might be better for you than T-bills.
stan
You think?
jack
I think.
stan
I'll inform my broker.
saw
(to Jack)
You really think it's her?
jack
I'm positive.
sal
What would Siobhan be doing in a dumpy building like yours?
jack
Her name's Jane.
Sal puts his hand over his heart.
sal
To me, she'll always be Siobhan.
saw
Maybe she's researching a part. You know, to see how the other half lives.
A small cat rubs up against Saw's leg.
saw (cont'd)
(like talking to a baby)
Oooohhh. Who's pretty? Who?
sal
She must throw lots of wild parties.
jack
Nope. I've never even seen her with anyone. If you ask me, she's lonely.
saw
A lot of these teenage celebrities don't look so good when they get older.
jack
She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
sal
Somebody's got a crush.
saw
Half the heterosexual male population of North America had a crush on her. And the other half didn't watch the show.
sal
I wonder if any gay guys had a crush on her. I mean, it wasn't a sexual thing -- it was the kind of crush where you just wanted to reach into the television and hold her.
Saw smiles and gazes as if daydreaming.
saw
And tell her everything.
stan (o.s.)
And then listen to her every thought.
The three men turn around and look at Stan, whose face is covered by the newspaper.
jack
Stan, you watched "Gradesis High"?
stan
Not exactly.
ext. apartment building - later
A MAILMAN enters with a cart of mail.
int. jane's apartment - same
Jane, who's sitting on her sofa with her arms around her knees, stares at her telephone. She turns to a digital clock lying on a bookcase. It's 1:05 PM.
She gets up and walks to the phone; and after hesitating for a moment, dials a number.
receptionist (v.o.)
Vladivostock and Company.
jane
Hi, it's Jane. Can I speak to Max?
receptionist (v.o.)
Just a second, dear.
There's a pause on the line.
receptionist (v.o.; cont'd)
I'm sorry, Jane -- he's in a meeting. I'll have him call you as soon as he's available.
jane
Thanks.
She hangs up, and hears the postman leaving the building.
jane (cont'd)
Maybe he mailed it.
ext. apartment courtyard - later
Jane rushes down the staircase. At the bottom, she sees Jack getting his mail. She stops. They look at each other.
jane
Hi.
jack
Hello.
She notices a few pieces of cat food on his shirt. He looks down; and with embarrassment, he brushes it off and smiles, before heading toward the staircase.
She opens her mailbox and finds it empty. She slams it closed and rushes back up the stairs, passing Jack on the way.
jane
Excuse me.
He stops and watches her run into her apartment.
int. jane's apartment - same
Jane explodes inside and checks the answering machine, finding no messages.
later
Jane cleans her kitchen table chewing a long piece of licorice, furtively glancing at the phone every few moments.
later
Sitting on the sofa finishing a candy bar, Jane pretends to read a magazine, again glancing at the phone. She turns to the clock. It's 5:02 PM.
She tosses the magazine onto the coffee table and rushes to the telephone. She starts dialing a number, but stops halfway and hangs up.
jane
You're not desperate!
She stares at the phone for a few moments.
jane (cont'd)
Who you kidding?
She grabs the phone and dials a number.
receptionist (v.o.)
Vladivostock and Company.
jane
Hi, it's me again. I'm so sorry to be a bother, but is he available?
receptionist (v.o.)
Just a minute.
jane
Pick up. Please, pick up.
max (v.o.)
Hey, kid -- sorry I haven't called -- it's been chaos here. And to tell the truth, I don't have anything to tell you.
jane
What happened to the script?
max (v.o.)
I never got it.
jane
They're not interested anymore?
max (v.o.)
Of course, they are. Don't read anything into this -- they're probably as busy as we are. I'll call them first thing in the morning.
jane
Thanks, Max.
max (v.o.)
And stop worrying.
She hangs up and takes a deep breath.
jane
I need a drink.
int. café - later
Jane, wearing sunglasses, reaches the head of a line.
jane
Give me a double-chocolate cappuccino.
The COUNTER WOMAN nods and starts to walk off. Jane grabs her arm.
jane (cont'd)
Wait -- you better make that a triple.
The counter woman nods and walks off. A COUNTER MAN walks by with a tea in his hand and gives it to Jack, who's waiting in the next line, holding a copy of E. E. Cummings' No Thanks.
counter man
Here you go, sir.
jack
Thanks.
Jack starts to leave, but sees Jane and stops.
jack (cont'd)
Hello again.
She turns to him.
jane
Oh, hello again.
ext. café - later
Jane exits with her drink and walks toward Jack, who's sitting at a table with his tea reading his book. As she passes, he looks up at her and smiles.
jack
So, how do you like it?
jane
What?
jack
Your apartment.
jane
Oh, it's fine.
jack
Nothing fancy.
jane
It could be worse.
jack
Would -- would you care to join me?
jane
I really should be going.
jack
Okay. I'll see you later.
jane
See ya.
He returns his attention to his book. She starts to walk off, but stops.
jane (cont'd)
Well, maybe for a few minutes.
He puts his book down and smiles; and as she sits down in front of him, he offers her his hand.
jack
I'm Jack.
She shakes it.
jane
Jane.
She looks at him for a few moments.
jane (cont'd)
You know who I am, don't you?
He nods.
jack
It must be strange for everyone to know who you are, but you not knowing any of them.
jane
The thing is, they don't know me. They only know Siobhan.
at sunset
Jack and Jane are the only customers remaining. The counter people bring tables and chairs inside.
jack
I really liked "Gradesis High."
jane
It was just a dumb show.
jack
Not to me. I don't usually like those types of programs, but there was something about it that was different. It was honest.
jane
I wish it never existed.
The counter man comes by and picks up their empty cups.
jane (cont'd)
What about you? I see you a lot during the day. Do you work at night?
jack
I work at home.
jane
Doing what?
jack
Well, perhaps I shouldn't call it work, as I don't actually get paid.
jane
What do you do?
jack
I draw. Do some animation. I even perform a little.
jane
In your home?
jack
The radiator just loves my act. The sofa, though, feels it needs some tightening.
She smiles at him.
jack (cont'd)
Okay -- a lot of tightening.
She chuckles.
jane
You're really weird.
jack
I call it "eccentric."
int. shopping mall - day
KARYN, an attractive woman of about forty, who's carrying an assortment of shopping bags, walks with Jane. Jane, whose hands are empty, looks as if she were somewhere else. They are both wearing sunglasses.
karyn
I'm not doing a very good job.
jane
What?
karyn
I brought you here to forget your problems.
jane
I'm sorry.
karyn
Is it the audition or the birthday?
jane
Both. Or neither. Oh, I don't know. Are women allowed mid-life crises? Or is that just reserved for men?
karyn
We can do anything they can do. Only better.
They giggle and stop in front of a bridal shop. Karyn puts down her bags as they look up at a beautiful gown that has a cathedral-length train.
karyn (cont'd)
I always stare at this each time I'm here. It's just like the one Julie Andrews wore in "The Sound of Music."
jane
Do -- do you ever wish you could have a storybook ending?
Karyn puts her arm around Jane.
karyn
At this point, I'd even take a television ending.
int. jane's apartment - day
Jane rocks back and forth on her sofa, staring at the phone. She looks at the clock. It reads: 2:55 PM.
She gets up and nonchalantly walks toward the phone. She puts her hand on the receiver, but releases it and turns around, stomping her feet.
jane
I'm not gonna call him -- I'm not!
The telephone RINGS. She jumps into the air in fright.
She turns around and puts her hand on the receiver, waiting for it to ring three times before picking it up.
jane (cont'd)
(coolly)
Hello?
matthew (v.o.)
Hey, it's me.
jane
Matthew? Hey, I'd really like to talk, but I'm expecting an important call.
matthew (v.o.)
No problem. I'm in LA for business and I thought I'd take you to dinner. How does six o'clock sound?
jane
Fine. Bye.
She quickly hangs up, staring at the phone.
jane (cont'd)
I knew I should've got call waiting.
later
Sitting on the sofa with her head smothered in a throw pillow, she rises up indignantly, staring at the phone.
jane
Ring, goddammit -- ring!
The doorbell RINGS.
jane (cont'd)
Wrong ring!
She stands up. The doorbell RINGS again.
jane (cont'd)
Coming!
She opens the door, behind which stands MATTHEW, a handsome man in his forties who's wearing an expensive suit. He's carrying a bouquet of flowers.
jane (cont'd)
Oh, it's only you.
He smiles.
matthew
It's nice seeing you, too.
She smiles.
jane
Sorry about that.
She opens the screen door, lets him inside, and takes his flowers.
She sees Jack approaching his front door. As he opens it, he sees her. He smiles and waves. She smiles and waves back.
jack
Hello.
jane
Hi.
Jack enters his unit and closes the door.
matthew
Man, what a weird guy. We don't have creeps like that in New Jersey.
jane
We call them "eccentrics."
Matthew looks around the apartment with disdain.
matthew
What are you doing in such a dump?
jane
It's an okay place.
matthew
Do you need money?
jane
I'm fine, just as long as I live within a budget.
matthew
Why do you put yourself through this?
jane
Because I want to.
ext. beach road - later
A large BMW cruises along the coast.
int. car - same
Jane, sitting in the front passenger seat, stares out at the ocean.
Matthew furtively glances at her left hand while driving.
jane
What are you looking for?
matthew
An engagement ring.
jane
I'm not engaged.
matthew
Seeing anyone?
jane
No one special.
matthew
Define "special"?
She turns to him and smiles.
ext. beach - sunset
A bearded middle-aged MAN, smiling like a Cheshire cat, walks through the sand in his pajamas. He passes a restaurant that has an elevated patio.
ext. restaurant patio - same
Matthew, a large steak and a beer in front of him, shakes his head at the pajama-clad man. He turns to Jane, who's sitting across from him, and points to the man.
matthew
We don't have creeps like that in New Jersey.
jane
Eat your meal.
A WAITER walks by.
matthew
If only I could.
(to waiter)
Excuse me.
The waiter stops and comes to the table.
matthew (cont'd)
This steak's not well-done enough.
waiter
I'm sorry.
The waiter picks up the plate.
matthew
And the beer's warm.
The waiter picks up the beer as well and walks off. Jane sighs.
jane
You really need to lighten up while you're here.
matthew
I'm as light as a feather, baby.
She grabs his tie, which has an extremely tight knot.
jane
We'll start with the tie. Only bankers and lawyers wear ties around here.
She unties his tie.
matthew
What are you doing?
jane
Relaxing you.
matthew
I don't need to relax.
jane
Trust me -- you do.
She tosses his tie onto the beach.
matthew
Hey, that tie cost two hundred dollars!
She smiles.
jane
Then, you'd better go get it.
ext. beach - later
Matthew chases his tie, which is blowing in the wind.
The tie comes to a rest. Matthew, out of breath, stops in front of it and reaches for it, but the wind blows it away.
The tie again comes to a rest near the water's edge. Matthew dives for it and grabs it -- raising it high into the air in triumph.
A large wave of water comes and drenches Matthew and the tie. He screams.
ext. restaurant patio - same
Jane, watching the scene, laughs so hard that tears fall from her eyes.
int. jane's apartment - later
Jane and Matthew happily enter.
matthew
Don't think I'm not gonna send you the dry-cleaning bill.
jane
You do that. In the meantime would you like a drink?
matthew
How about some wine?
She enters the kitchen. He sits down on the sofa.
jane (o.s.)
So, why are you here?
matthew
I told you -- business.
jane (o.s.)
No, why are you really here?
matthew
You don't believe me?
jane (o.s.)
A few days ago I get some not-so-cryptic message from my mother about you, and then all of a sudden you just show up.
She enters with two glasses of wine and hands him one.
matthew
I miss you.
jane
I miss you, too.
She sits down next to him.
matthew
Not the same way.
jane
Surely there must be some woman in your life.
matthew
Well, there is this young lady at Starbucks who's always flirting with me.
jane
How exotic.
matthew
But she's not you.
He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a wet gift-wrapped package.
matthew (cont'd)
I've got something for you.
He hands it to her.
jane
It's wet.
matthew
And who's fault is that?
She smiles and opens it, revealing a pair of diamond earrings. She frowns and hands it to him.
jane
You know I can't take this.
matthew
Consider it an early birthday present. You're only forty once.
jane
Thankfully.
matthew
I love you.
She puts the earrings on the coffee table.
jane
You know I care about you, too.
matthew
But not love.
jane
We've been through this many times. My life's here.
matthew
What life? I don't mean to hurt you, but you haven't had real acting work in almost twenty years.
jane
I've had some indie roles.
matthew
Like "Ontario Guy"? Baby, I tried watching that. I really did. But I couldn't -- not even the scenes with you.
jane
Okay -- so it wasn't Shakespeare. But as bad as it was, it was better than anything else.
matthew
Better than being my wife?
jane
I wish I could be a housewife. I really do. Or be able to work in some office. But I can't. Acting is the only thing I can do.
matthew
Why? What's so special about it? I know it's not fame -- everybody already knows who you are. And it's not money; 'cause, let's face it, I'm loaded. So, what is it?
jane
I'll try to explain. When I step onto the stage, it's like someone's shot adrenaline into my heart.
She puts her wine glass on the coffee table.
jane (cont'd)
The camera goes on, and I can feel the tightrope underneath my toes. There's nothing beneath me. There's nothing but exhilaration. Freedom.
matthew
You're not gonna say it's better than sex.
jane
Perhaps not. But it's a lot more consistent.
He sighs.
matthew
All right.
He puts his arm around her.
matthew (cont'd)
I want you to know, though, if you ever change your mind, my arms will always be open.
jane
What about the Starbucks' girl?
matthew
She's just not you.
She grabs his tie.
jane
Come here, ya big galoot.
She pulls him toward her and briefly kisses him.
jane (cont'd)
You wanna stay the night?
matthew
My bags are in the car.
She smiles.
jane
You didn't even get a hotel room, did you?
He shrugs.
matthew
Well?
She kisses him.
ext. outside jane's apartment - morning
Jane, wearing a robe, leads Matthew out of the apartment. They kiss.
matthew
I'll call you when I get back.
Matthew walks toward the staircase.
jane
Stay safe.
matthew
You know I always do.
A DELIVERY MAN walks up the staircase carrying a package, looking at the numbers on the doors. He passes Matthew and looks at Jane in surprise.
jane
(hopefully)
Is that for me?
delivery man
Yes, m'am.
He hands it to her. She sees that it's from Vladivostock and Company.
jane
Yes!
She kisses the delivery man on the cheek. The man blushes.
delivery man
Wow! A signature would've sufficed.
He hands her a signature device. She signs it and hands it back to him.
delivery man (cont'd)
You think -- you think I could have another one?
jane
Sure.
He takes out a piece of paper and a pen and hands them to her.
delivery man
Make it out to Miguel.
int. jane's apartment - later
Jane jumps onto her sofa with the package. As she opens it, she notices the birthday card depicting the old woman with the cane lying on the coffee table. She sticks her tongue at it.
She takes out the script. As she reads the first page, a wave of angst flows over her.
jane
Oh, no.
ext. jane's apartment - later
Jane, wearing sunglasses, steps outside with the script in her hand.
She sees the BUILDING MANAGER, a large man in his thirties, standing by the mailbox. She quietly steps back inside the apartment, watching the courtyard through her screen door.
The building manager walks through the courtyard with a full garbage can, in the direction of the back entrance.
She quickly steps back outside.
ext. street - later
Jane sadly walks toward the café with the script between her crossed arms.
She sees Jack reading a copy of E. E. Cummings' Tulips and Chimneys, with his back to her. After pausing for a moment, she sits down across from him. He puts down the book and smiles at her.
jack
Hey.
jane
Hey.
jack
How's everything?
jane
Okay.
jack
Okay?
jane
I got an audition for a television show.
jack
That's not okay -- that's terrific. What's wrong?
She puts the script on the table and ominously pushes it toward him. He starts reading. Moments later, he laughs.
jack
This is really funny.
jane
That's the problem.
jack
What's the problem?
jane
I'm not funny.
jack
Everyone's funny.
jane
Everyone but me. I had no idea it was a sitcom and that I'd have to play a funny person. I'm gonna look like a fool.
jack
I know it's presumptuous of me, but could I help?
jane
How?
jack
I don't know. Maybe I could help you with your lines.
jane
Well, you are funny.
He smiles at her.
jane (cont'd)
But you must be busy with --
jack
-- Really, I want to do it.
ext. bluff - sunset
Jane, who's sitting close to Jack on a bench overlooking the ocean, points to the script, which lies on both their laps.
jane
I'm playing Mimi, a woman who's spent her whole life in some jungle mission, and who suddenly finds herself working for a U.S. senator. And you're Gwen, my worldly roommate and coworker.
jack
All right.
They look down at the script and read.
jane
Gwen, what's wrong?
jack
Another Saturday night without a date.
jane
I know how you feel.
jack
(with surprise)
You do?
jane
(humorlessly)
I haven't had a date in ages. Or even a raisin.
He sneers with a funny face. She giggles.
jack
What's worse -- I was stood up.
jane
But you're sitting.
He jumps up with another funny face, shaking his fist -- causing her to laugh.
jane (cont'd)
Now, you've been stood up.
He sits down. She looks up from the script.
jane (cont'd)
See -- I had all the funny lines, but you were much funnier than me.
jack
It's just a matter of expression and timing.
jane
Expression and timing?
jack
Think of expression as how you do something, and timing as when. Now, take that raisin line. After "I haven't had a date in ages," you need a pause.
Jane points to the script.
jane
There's no pause in the script.
jack
But it needs one -- a pregnant one, to give the funny line a real punch. That's the timing.
Jack looks at the script for a few moments, before turning back to Jane.
jack (cont'd)
And when you say it, you need to look real doe-like; you know, big eyes, innocent-looking. That's the expression.
jane
All right.
jack
Try it again.
jane
I haven't had a date in ages.
She tries a doe-like expression, overdoing it a bit. He giggles.
jane (cont'd)
Or even a raisin.
He laughs.
jack
Much better.
They both reach to turn the page at the same time. Their hands touch, and they look into each other's eyes.
jane
Perhaps we should make a photocopy.
ext. apartment building - later
Jane and Jack walk in place, each reading from their copy of the script.
jack
Are you going to the State of the Union?
jane
There's a state called "Union"?
jack
(with exasperation)
It's a speech.
jane
How can a speech be a state?
jack
Are you being purposely slow?
jane
You want me to walk faster?
Jack chuckles, putting down the script.
jack
That's pretty good. But you know, wouldn't it be funnier if she pointed to her feet and said, "It's the shoes."
Jane smiles.
jane
Yeah. But -- but I should just read what's in the script.
jack
Of course. I'm sorry. That was just me being presumptuous again.
jane
Not at all. I really appreciate this.
int. jack's apartment - day
Jack, who's wearing headphones, watches an episode of Gradesis High on his computer.
On the screen
A twenty-year-old Jane sits in a classroom alone with TOMMY, a handsome boy of the same age. They are far apart from each other and are stoically looking straight ahead.
jane
Why?
tommy
It doesn't matter.
jane
I want to know.
tommy
You're so smart, you figure it out.
jane
So that's it.
Clearly upset, she stands up and walks to a corner of the room, with her back to him.
jane (cont'd)
Well, I have some news for you, Tommy: I'm not gonna be dumb for you or anyone else. I don't need any of you.
tommy
Siobhan.
jane
Go to her -- she's just your IQ.
He stands up and slowly walks toward her. She crosses her arms.
tommy
I --
jane
-- Just go!
She begins to break down in tears. He hesitantly puts his hand on her shoulder.
tommy
I'm sorry.
She turns around and hugs him, crying on his shoulder.
For a few moments he's frozen. Suddenly, he closes his eyes and squeezes her tight.
The show's theme song plays.
back in the apartment
Jack's eyes water. He's clutching a throw pillow in his arms as if it were a woman.
The doorbell RINGS. Jack stops the DVD and takes off the headphones.
jack
Who is it?
jane (o.s.)
It's me -- Jane.
jack
Just a minute.
Jack throws the pillow onto the sofa and stands up. He rubs his eyes and straightens his clothes before rushing toward the door.
He abruptly stops halfway, turns around, and rushes back to his desk, where the DVD cover rests. He picks it up and frantically looks around the room.
He tosses the cover under the sofa and runs to the door. He opens it.
jane
Hi.
jack
Hi.
jane
Are you all right?
jack
Sure.
jane
You look like you've been crying.
jack
I . . .
He looks behind himself and pauses for a moment. When he turns back around, he points backward.
jack (cont'd)
I'm making onion soup.
jane
Onion soup? On such a hot day?
jack
Like you said, I'm weird.
She smiles.
jane
You wanna read today?
jack
Sure. Let me just get my sunglasses.
jane
I was thinking with the weather like it is, maybe we could just do it inside.
jack
Fine with me. Is my place okay?
jane
If you don't mind.
jack
I don't mind.
She opens his screen door and enters.
jack (cont'd)
Would you like something to drink?
jane
Something cold.
jack
I've some ice tea.
jane
Great.
He walks into the kitchen. She sits down on the sofa.
She looks around the room, which contains a large bookcase filled with books on art, theater, film, comedy, and poetry. On the walls hang paintings and pencil drawings. An expressionistic portrait of a man piques her interest.
jane (cont'd)
Are these your paintings?
jack (o.s.)
Just the pencil drawings.
jane
They're nice.
jack (o.s.)
They're okay.
She looks around the room.
jane
Where's your script?
jack (o.s.)
Oh, I've already memorized it.
jane
You've memorized it? The whole thing?
jack (o.s.)
It's not like it's "War and Peace."
Jack enters with two glasses of ice tea and hands her one. She points to the portrait.
jane
Who's that?
Jack turns around.
jack
E. E. Cummings.
jane
The poet you're always reading.
jack
Yeah. That's actually a self-portrait.
jane
He painted, too?
jack
He not only painted, he painted well. He's kind of a hero of mine. Not just because of his talent, but because of his courage.
jane
Courage?
He scans through his stacks of books and takes out a copy of Cummings' EIMI. He hands it to her.
jack
He went after Stalinism a decade before Orwell. Even though Stalin was almost universally popular in the literary world. Even though it would almost destroy his career.
She hands him back the book.
jack (cont'd)
He couldn't get published for years afterward. And it cost him lots of friends.
He puts the book back.
jane
Do you think he thought it was worth it?
Jack turns back to her.
jack
I don't know. I hope so.
Jack walks up to the portrait.
jack (cont'd)
You wanna know something funny?
jane
What?
He puts his fingers on the painting.
jack
I often touch it, hoping he'll rub off on me. If not the talent, then at least the courage.
He turns around, his arms behind his back, and smiles at her.
jack (cont'd)
But, alas, nothing.
jane
You should try out for something. You're really good.
jack
Oh, no -- I couldn't. I don't know how you stand the rejection.
jane
I don't have a choice.
jack
But I do. You probably don't understand this, but there's many people who lead riskless, rejection-free lives. We only go after things we know we can get.
jane
Jack, you gotta reach out for what you want.
Jack attempts to move his hands. They move a little, but remain behind his back.
int. jane's apartment - day
Jane, who's sitting on her sofa with an ice cream bar in her mouth, reads her script.
The doorbell RINGS.
jane
Who is it?
Not receiving a reply, Jane finishes the ice cream, puts the stick on the coffee table, and walks to the door. She opens it.
MOM, a stylish and attractive woman in her sixties, strikes a dramatic pose.
mom
Ta-da!
Jane slams the door closed.
mom (o.s.; cont'd)
Is that any way to treat your only mother?
Jane sighs and reluctantly opens the door.
jane
Mom, what are you doing here?
Mom opens the screen door.
mom
If Mohammed won't go to the mountain . . .
Mom enters the apartment.
jane
Then the mountain will collapse on me.
Mom looks around the apartment. She raises her eyebrows at the furniture.
mom
What a quaint little domicile you have here. Bohemian chic. Without the chic. Oh, be a dear and bring up my bags from the car.
jane
(horrified)
You're staying here?
mom
I want to be close to the little girl I suckled from my bosom.
jane
Mom, you hired a wet nurse.
ext. beach restaurant patio - sunset
Mom, sitting across from Jane, raises her drink in toast. Jane reluctantly complies.
mom
Really, Janey, I don't see what you have against Matthew Weintraub. He's rich, attractive, pleasant . . .
Mom sips her drink and takes a deep breath.
mom (cont'd)
Rich.
jane
Why don't you marry him then?
mom
If I were only twenty years younger. Or even ten.
jane
You've dated men younger than him.
mom
Yes, but I had to pay them.
jane
Mom!
mom
You think older women don't get horny? Just you wait.
jane
Can we have this conversation later -- like years from now?
mom
Tell me -- what are you waiting for?
jane
I don't know.
mom
Prince Charming?
jane
Maybe.
mom
He doesn't exist.
jane
Maybe you just never noticed him.
later
Jane, sitting by herself, sips a cup of coffee. As she sees Mom enter from the main dinning room, she takes a bite of chocolate mousse.
mom
You know, you really shouldn't eat that.
Mom sits down.
jane
Why not?
mom
You need to watch your figure -- especially at your age.
Jane sighs.
mom (cont'd)
Once you get the ring, you can put on all the pounds you'd like.
jane
How did Daddy put up with you for so long?
mom
He was afraid of losing half his money.
Mom shuffles through a set of business cards.
jane
What do you have there?
mom
I was doing some prospecting.
jane
Prospecting for what?
Mom puts the cards into three piles in front of her.
mom
No . . . no . . . yes . . . no
. . . maybe.
Jane grabs Mom's hands.
jane
Prospecting for what?
mom
For your future husband, what else.
jane
You mean, you went around the restaurant pimping me out?
mom
Oh, don't be vulgar, dear.
Mom looks at a card.
mom (cont'd)
Would you consider a chiropractor a doctor?
Mom looks at Jane.
Mom (cont'd)
(shaking head)
Nah.
Jane grabs all the cards and tosses them onto the beach.
on the beach
The cards blow in the wind.
on the patio
Mom stares at Jane in shock. Jane takes an enormous fork full of mousse and spitefully shoves it into her mouth.
Mom raises her arms in frustration.
mom
What's with you? Are you on drugs?
jane
No, Mom.
mom
Because I know a great rehab center nearby.
jane
Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't even see a therapist.
mom
And you call yourself an actress.
Jane sighs, putting her elbow on the table and her forehead on her palm.
mom (cont'd)
Can I ask just one question?
jane
What?
mom
Have you frozen any of your eggs?
Jane covers her face with her hands.
mom (cont'd)
Can't you hear the sound, dear? Tick, tick, tick. That's your clock about to go off.
Jane covers her ears with her hands and shakes her head over and over.
jane
I'm not listening anymore. I'm not.
mom
All I'm asking is for one little grandchild to spoil. You're not selfish enough to deny me that one small pleasure, are you?
int. jane's apartment - later
Mom takes a sip of wine, sitting on the sofa next to Jane, who looks unhappy. The birthday card depicting the old woman with the cane lies in front of them on the coffee table.
mom
I rue the day I acceded to that hunger strike of yours and let you try out for Annie.
jane
You could've never stopped me.
mom
But it's not too late to stop yourself.
jane
What do you mean?
mom
Give up acting and accept reality.
jane
Whose reality?
mom
Look, you're almost forty. Even good actresses have trouble finding work after forty.
jane
What are you trying to say -- that I'm not a good actress?
mom
You're fine, dear. You had your dumb little show. You were easy on the eyes. But it's over. Long over.
Rage builds on Jane's face.
jane
It's not. In fact, I have an audition for a big TV show.
mom
When have I heard this before?
jane
This time it's gonna be different. I know it.
mom
Listen, if you want to continue acting, fine: after you marry Matthew, you can perform at the Paper Mill Playhouse, or some droll dinner theater.
jane
(emphatically)
No.
mom
I can't talk to you when you're so obstinate.
jane
You're just bitter.
mom
Excuse me?
jane
You're just a bitter old woman.
mom
How dare you!
jane
You wanted to be a dancer. But because you didn't believe enough in yourself, you took the easy way out. You married a man you didn't even love.
mom
(near tears)
You don't know what you're talking about!
jane
I do! You're bitter. And because you're bitter, you want me to be bitter, too.
Jane picks up the birthday card off the coffee table, crumples it, and throws it against the door.
jane (cont'd)
But I won't!
int. jane's bedroom - later
Jane storms inside and slams the door closed. She rubs her watery eyes.
She sees a star outside her bedroom window and walks toward it, stopping by the sill.
jane
I've never asked for anything.
She closes her eyes.
jane (cont'd)
Just this once.
int. jane's apartment - morning
Jane exits the bedroom wearing a robe. She sees Mom checking her suitcases -- her back to Jane.
jane
Mom, I'm sorry.
mom
You were wrong last night. I didn't quit dancing because I didn't believe in myself. I quit because I just wasn't good.
Mom picks up her suitcases and walks to the door. There she stops but doesn't turn around.
mom (cont'd)
The most difficult thing to face is your own mediocrity. I just hope you never have to.
ext. outside jane's apartment - later
Mom walks toward the staircase with her luggage. She passes Jack, who smiles and waves to her. She raises her eyebrows.
jack
Hello.
She stops and watches Jack walk to his apartment. She shakes her head.
mom
(to herself)
We certainly don't have creeps like that in New Jersey.
ext. apartment building courtyard - day
Jane and Jack walk through the front door and toward the staircase. She's wearing sunglasses and carrying her script, and is visibly agitated.
jane
She makes me so mad!
jack
At least she didn't call you a creep.
They stop.
jane
She didn't?
jack
Well, not to my face.
They continue toward the staircase.
jane
I can't wait for this audition. I'm gonna really show her.
They start up the stairs.
later
At the top of the stairs, they go off in different directions, toward their respective units.
jane
Same time tomorrow?
jack
You got it.
jane
I don't know how to repay you.
jack
Remember me in your Emmy speech.
jane
You got it.
She reaches her front door and hears Max's voice on the answering machine. She tries to unlock the door, but it won't open.
jane (cont'd)
Damn!
She tries the lock again, and the door swings open.
int. jane's apartment - same
Jane rushes toward the phone.
max (v.o.)
Well, just give me a call as soon as you get in.
She grabs the phone.
jane
Max -- I'm here!
max (v.o.)
Hi.
jane
What's wrong?
max (v.o.)
I can't fool you, can I?
jane
It's the audition. It's off.
max (v.o.)
I'm sorry, kid. One of the producers doesn't think you're right for the role. They want you to know that it's not you, it's the role.
Her eyes begin to water.
max (v.o.; cont'd)
They even want to keep in touch. There might be a chance for a cameo somewhere down the line.
She cries noiselessly.
max (v.o.; cont'd)
I feel terrible. I didn't even know that it was a comic role. I'm so sorry.
jane
Don't be. You should've dropped me long ago.
max (v.o.)
Drop you?
jane
I haven't made you any money in a long time.
max (v.o.)
I'm never gonna drop you, kid. Never. I love you.
jane
I love you, too.
max (v.o.)
I feel so terrible. I had the entire staff scrounge the city for another part. And I found one.
She rubs her eyes and tries to pull herself together.
jane
Really?
max (v.o.)
Yeah, it's for a hot new indie.
jane
Not more film-school dropouts.
max (v.o.)
No -- this is the real deal. The guy was just at Sundance. The film's super smart -- real allegorical, I'm told.
She rolls her eyes.
jane
Sounds interesting.
max (v.o.)
You wouldn't happen to have a white dress?
jane
Am I supposed to represent purity?
max (v.o.)
Beats me, kid. I'm not even sure what allegorical means. But the dress should be tight fitting.
jane
Oh, it's tight all right.
later
Jane hangs up the phone.
She walks to her open front door. She sees Jack standing in front of his apartment with a solemn expression.
jane
You heard?
jack
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to listen.
jane
It's okay.
jack
You sure?
She nods her head, closes her door, and turns the deadbolt.
She starts crying again, covering her face with her hands.
ext. los angeles street - day
Under a hot, glaring sun, Jane steps out of her car wearing a white dress that's a few sizes too small.
She looks at her dress and takes a deep breath.
int. waiting room - later
Jane opens a CREAKY door carrying a sheet of paper. She looks inside and sees a group of a DOZEN WOMAN, all wearing a tight white dress similar to hers. They are all holding a sheet of paper and are all nearly half her age, and in much better shape.
She sheepishly enters and hears SNICKERING. She sits down and sees two women across from her smiling and whispering to each other as they stare at her.
She hears MOOING and turns her head. A woman shakes her head derisively. From the opposite direction, two women HUM the theme song from Gradesis High. Many laugh.
She stands up, puts the sheet of paper on her chair, and walks out -- closing the door behind her. The laughing continues.
She bursts back in, and the laughter abruptly ends.
jane
You might think you'll never be forty, but trust me, you will. And when it happens, it won't be so funny.
She leaves, slamming the door shut.
ext. los angeles street - later
Jane opens her car door and enters.
She starts the ignition. Smoke rises from under the hood.
She exits the car; and without closing the door, she slowly heads down the street, turns the corner, and walks off-screen.
Moments later, the same Hispanic youth who helped fix Jane's car carry an old WOMAN's groceries across the street.
woman
I don't know how I can thank you.
leader
You can smile.
ext. south central los angeles - later
Jane walks through a dangerous neighborhood, oblivious to her surroundings.
ext. los angeles river - sunset
Jane crosses a bridge leading into Long Beach.
ext. apartment building - later
Jane stops at the front door. Through the glass, she sees the building manager sweeping the grounds.
She takes a deep breath and enters.
ext. apartment courtyard - same
Jane walks up to the building manager from behind.
jane
Hi.
He stops sweeping and turns around.
building manager
Oh, hi.
jane
I'm leaving at the end of the month.
building manager
No problem.
jane
I promise I'll make up what I owe.
He continues sweeping.
building manager
Hey, if the owner don't care, I certainly don't.
int. jane's apartment - later
Jane, sitting on her couch with a bag of ice on her feet, picks up the telephone. She dials a number and starts tearing up.
matthew (v.o.)
Hey, this is Matthew -- leave a message after the beep. Ciao.
She hangs up. After pausing for a moment, she wipes her eyes and hits the redial button.
The doorbell RINGS. She hangs up and stands up; and after straightening her dress, she walks to the door.
She opens the door, exposing a smiling Jack through the screen door.
jack
Hi.
jane
Hi.
jack
So, how did it go?
jane
It didn't.
She walks toward the sofa.
jack
Have you been crying?
jane
I'm making onion soup.
She sits down and looks up at him, arms crossed.
jane (cont'd)
I'm quitting.
jack
Quitting what?
jane
Acting.
jack
You can't do that. You love acting.
jane
I have to accept reality. Face my mediocrity. I just can't act anymore.
jack
So, you had a bad audition. How many bad auditions have you had in the last twenty years?
jane
Too many.
jack
Just try again.
jane
Great advice, coming from a guy who's never tried.
He lowers his head. She sighs.
jane (cont'd)
I'm sorry.
jack
No, you're right. But you're better than me.
jane
I'm not. I'm finished. It's tough enough competing on skill alone, but when you no longer have the looks . . .
jack
What are you talking about? You're beautiful. More beautiful than anyone on TV.
jane
Please. You should've seen the bodies on those teenyboppers.
jack
Is that all? That's easy to fix.
jane
(incredulously)
Easy?
jack
Did I ever tell you I ran a triathlon?
ext. beach - day
Jane and Jack jog along a pedestrian path that adjoins a bike lane. She's wearing sweats while he's wearing a spandex bodysuit that exposes his unexpectedly muscular physique. They are both wearing sunglasses.
She's sweating and breathing hard, while he's barely exerting himself. As they run, she furtively glances at his powerful shoulders and arms, and his granite-like calves.
She wanders onto the bike lane.
cyclist (o.s.)
(rudely)
On your left!
She jumps back onto the pedestrian path, as a professional-looking MALE CYCLIST flies past her on a bicycle.
cyclist (cont'd)
Stay off the bike path!
Jack scowls at the man.
jane
I had no idea you were in such great shape.
jack
Every guy handles their mid-life crisis differently. Some drink, others womanize; me, I exercise.
jane
Why don't you dress like this more often?
jack
What do you mean -- I dress like this almost every day.
jane
Every day when?
jack
At night when I come here to work out.
jane
You mean, when no one can see you.
jack
Who'd want to see me?
They stop in front of a long and steep set of stairs leading to the top of the bluff.
jane
Why are we stopping here?
jack
We're gonna sprint up the steps.
jane
You're joking.
jack
Don't worry -- we'll only do it twelve times today.
jane
Twelve times? Jack, I can barely walk up these things. Once I even called a cab to take me to the top.
He smiles, pointing upward.
jack
Just think of all those teenyboppers.
She starts up the steps, but trips and falls on the third one. She screeches in pain.
jack (cont'd)
Are you all right?
jane
No!
He helps her up.
jack
It's like making love for the first time. If you fall off, you get back on and try again.
She giggles.
jack
See, I made the pain go away.
jane
You didn't.
later
Jane struggles up the stairs.
Jack, effortlessly running two steps at a time, zooms past her.
jack
I'll be your rabbit.
ext. bluff park - later
Jack taps his fingers on the rail as he waits on the top of the stairs. A dozen people picnic nearby.
Jane, sweating profusely and hyperventilating, makes it to the top. He raises his hand to give her a high-five, but she instead doubles over.
jack
That was terrific.
jane
I can't continue.
jack
Come on -- I haven't even added weights on you yet.
jane
Jack, I'm too old for this.
jack
Then, be young.
She looks up at him.
jane
Be young?
He takes her hand and pulls her toward the field.
jack
Come.
jane
Where you taking me?
Once on the grass, they start dancing a waltz.
jane (cont'd)
Are you crazy? . . . Look who I'm asking.
She looks around and sees that people are staring at them.
jane (cont'd)
Jack, everyone's watching!
jack
"You shall above all
things be glad and young
For if you're young,
whatever life you wear
It will become you;
and if you are glad
Whatever's living
will yourself become."
They stop dancing. People in the background CLAP. She smiles.
jane
That was nice.
jack
That was E. E. Cummings.
later
Jane and Jack walk along the park, without sunglasses.
jane
I'm gonna have to find a new place.
jack
Why?
jane
I gave the building manager my notice. You know, when I thought I was quitting.
jack
So, un-give it.
They stop. She looks downward.
jane
I can't. You see, I'm behind on the rent.
jack
Lots of people fall behind at times.
jane
I can't ask him.
jack
Would you like me to ask?
jane
No, I couldn't.
jack
I've been in the building a long time. The manager's a good friend of mine. In fact, he owes me a favor.
jane
Well . . . all right.
They look warmly at each other and continue on silently.
He notices something.
jack (cont'd)
Will you excuse me for a few minutes?
jane
Sure.
He walks over to the rail and hops over it, and climbs down the bluff. She smiles with embarrassment.
jane (cont'd)
Jack, what are you doing?
jack (o.s.)
Making sure the cats have enough water.
jane
Cats?
She walks toward the rail and sees Jack picking up a big plastic jug. A dozen cats surround him.
jane (cont'd)
Whose cats are these?
Jack climbs over the rail with the jug and walks to a nearby water fountain, where he fills the jug.
jack
They're feral. Me and a few of the guys from the neighborhood take care of them.
saw (o.s.)
Hey.
Jane turns around and sees the immense figure of Saw smiling down at her. He's carrying a huge bag of cat food as if it were weightless. She steps back in fright.
jack
Oh, that's just Saw. Saw, this is Jane.
Saw offers her his hand.
saw
Nice to meet you.
They shake hands, with Saw's hand completely engulfing hers.
jane
How'd you get a name like "Saw"?
saw
You don't want to know.
jack
Don't listen to him -- he's as harmless as those cats.
saw
I can see Jack didn't lie.
jane
About what?
saw
He said you were the most beautiful woman alive.
Jane smiles and looks at Jack, who blushes.
jack
I don't think those were my exact words.
int. jack's kitchen - night
Jane rummages through the cupboards.
jane
Where do you keep your junk food?
jack (o.s.)
In the supermarket.
She walks over to the stove where Jack's pouring light sauces and spices into a large wok of vegetables. She puts her hands on her hips and looks down at the food skeptically.
jane
My, I don't think I've ever seen so many vegetables in one place.
jack
Exercise is just one part of a complex equation.
jane
Sounds yummy.
later
Jack plops a large plate of food in front of Jane, who sitting in front of the kitchen table holding a full wine glass. She sighs.
jack
Oh, come on -- give it a chance.
She puts her wine down and puts a tiny fork-full of food into her mouth as if she were taking poison. An expression of surprise comes over her face.
jane
This is good.
jack
I told you.
jane
No, this is really good!
She puts a huge fork-full of food into her mouth.
later
Jane takes a sip of wine. Both their plates are clean.
jack
I don't understand why you can't get roles. You're such a good actor.
jane
It's Siobhan.
jack
Siobhan?
jane
Outside a few stage roles as a kid, I've never been anyone but Siobhan. All everyone sees when they look at me is Siobhan.
She slams her wine glass down and lowers her head.
jane (cont'd)
That's why I really wanted that show. I really wanted it. I could've finished her off for good.
She looks up at Jack and smiles.
jane (cont'd)
I don't mean to lay this on you.
jack
I'm not complaining.
later
Jane, who's sitting on the sofa next to Jack, reaches into a bowl of frozen blueberries that lies between them, and pulls out a handful.
jane
Funny, I never liked blueberries before.
jack
When they're frozen, they're almost like a Popsicle, aren't they?
She eats them and smiles.
jane
Better.
She licks her fingers and looks warmly at Jack.
jane (cont'd)
You're an incredible man, Jack. I can't understand why some woman hasn't swept you off your feet.
Jack shrugs bashfully. Jane raises her index finger, as if she just came up with an idea.
jane (cont'd)
Hey, I have a friend --
jack
-- That's okay.
jane
You're sure?
jack
I'm sure.
Jack forces a smile.
ext. apartment building - day
The building manager, who's standing next to Jack, shakes his head at him.
building manager
She's way behind.
Jack shrugs.
building manager (cont'd)
You're way too soft with these people, Jack. Half the building's behind on their rent.
jack
But that means the other half isn't, right? Hey, it's not like I'm in the red.
building manager
You ain't in the black, either.
jack
You just keep quiet about who owns the place.
building manager
You're the boss.
ext. bluff park - sunset
Jack happily stares out into the ocean, sitting on a bench with Saw, Sal, and Stan. Saw has a tiny kitten on his lap, which he gently scratches with his large, thick fingers.
stan
I just love this bluff.
Sal closes his eyes and smiles, leaning his head on his shoulder.
sal
Yeah, it kinda reminds me of Zarzis, a lovely little town off the Tunisian coast -- on the edge of the Sahara.
jack
You've been to Tunisia?
sal
No, but I can dream, can't I?
ext. beach - day
Jane stands in front of the steps with her arms out. Jack puts weights around her wrists.
jane
I hate you, you know that?
jack
I know.
A hand taps Jane's shoulder. She turns around and sees a WOMAN in her late thirties with her teenage DAUGHTER.
woman
Ms. De Klerk, could we trouble you for your autograph?
jane
Sure.
woman
Great.
The woman takes a pen and paper from her pocketbook and hands it to Jane.
woman (cont'd)
I just want to say how much I loved your show. Your character was a real inspiration to me. I mean, she showed that a girl could be both smart and popular -- and that there was more to care about than just boys and makeup.
Jane smiles and signs her name.
woman (cont'd)
You're a role model for my daughter.
The woman puts her arm around her daughter and squeezes.
woman (cont'd)
She's watched the DVDs many times over.
jane
Really?
The daughter smiles, revealing a set of braces.
daughter
Mom, you're embarrassing me.
Jack leans over to whisper in Jane's ear.
jack
Just a dumb show, eh?
int. jack's apartment - day
Jane, sitting at Jack's desk chewing a cucumber, scans a website listing acting jobs.
jack (o.s.)
Anything interesting?
She turns to Jack, who's sitting on the sofa reading a copy of E. E. Cummings' 95 Poems.
jane
Not really. There's a revival of Annie opening here. Do you know that was my first role?
jack
Gonna try out for it?
jane
I don't think the red wig would fit anymore.
After a brief pause, Jack smiles and shrugs.
jack
Oh, well, try again tomorrow. It's only a day away.
She moans with mock indignation. Smiling, she raises the cucumber into the air.
jack (cont'd)
Sorry -- couldn't resist.
She throws the cucumber at him.
ext. beach - day
Jane and Jack ride bicycles together at a leisurely pace.
jack
You're almost ready for a triathlon.
She sneers, and looks out onto the ocean.
jane
I hope you're not planning on having me swim in that.
jack
Nah. The last time I went in there my skin was green for a week.
MALE cyclist (o.s.)
(rudely)
On your left!
A professional-looking MALE CYCLIST flies past them. Jack briefly scowls at the man before turning to Jane.
jack
Shall we?
jane
Shall we what?
Jack looks toward the cyclist. Jane follows his eyes.
jane (cont'd)
(shaking head)
Noooooooooooo.
Jack speeds off after the man. Jane reluctantly follows.
jane (cont'd)
Jack!
Jane quickly catches up. She looks surprised at how fast she's moving. The two quickly gain on the cyclist.
jack
(politely)
On your left.
The two pass the man, who looks up in surprise. Jack raises his hand into the air and Jane slaps it.
later
Jack, standing on his bike, buys two bottles of ice tea from a VENDOR and hands one to Jane.
jane
Thanks.
They start cycling at a leisurely pace.
jane (cont'd)
Can I ask you something personal?
jack
Sure.
jane
How do you get by without a job?
Jack turns away, a little embarrassed.
jack
Well, I'm not without means.
jane
Are you a prince or something?
Jack smiles.
jack
No. I don't talk about it much.
jane
You don't have to.
jack
I used to be a bond trader.
jane
That's all? I thought it was something bad.
Jack shrugs.
jane (cont'd)
Why'd you quit?
jack
It wasn't for me.
jane
And then what did you do?
jack
And then, I wandered here.
(with Paul Harvey accent)
And now you know the rest of the story.
jane
I'm not sure I know anything.
jack
Well, I can tell you one thing.
jane
What's that?
jack
I've never been happier.
int. jack's bedroom - night
Jack tosses and turns in his sleep. He's sweating.
jack
(mumbling)
Paper sells six halves. Trading now six evens. At six.
Jack wakes, rising from his bed with an expression of pure aggression on his face.
jack (cont'd)
(screaming)
Paper to sell at six!
Jack grimaces, grabbing his stomach. He stumbles out of bed, toward the door.
int. jack's bathroom - same
Jack stumbles inside and slams the medicine cabinet open. He grabs a bottle of prescription ulcer medication; and after fumbling with the cap, chugs a bunch of pills. He kneels in front of the toilet and starts coughing.
When he finishes, he raises his head and wipes some blood from his face.
Breathing hard, he crawls to the corner of the room, puts his arms around his knees, and starts quivering.
ext. café - day
Jane sips tea sitting in front of Karyn, who looks at Jane's legs and shakes her head.
karyn
You just have to let me borrow Jack for a few weeks.
jane
I actually tried to set you two up, but . . .
karyn
But perhaps he's interested in someone else.
jane
Who?
karyn
(sarcastically)
I can't imagine.
jane
Karyn, he's never made the slightest pass at me.
karyn
Funny how we call ourselves feminists and yet still expect the guy to make the pass.
jane
You're wrong about him. He doesn't see me any different than those feral cats of his. I'm not even sure he's straight. And frankly, I don't care.
ext. steps - day
Jack runs up, two steps at a time. Jane rushes up past him in a spandex bodysuit that shows off her immaculate physique.
jane
I'll be your rabbit.
Jack quickens his pace, but he can't keep up with her.
ext. bluff park - later
Sweating and out of breath, Jack reaches the top. He looks up and sees Jane jumping up and down with her fists in the air like Rocky.
int. jane's apartment - day
Wearing a robe, Jane exits the bathroom, releasing steam into the foyer. She looks into the full-length mirror in front of her.
After pausing for a few moments, she disrobes and looks pleasantly surprised.
jane
Oh my . . .
She does a three-quarter turn, to look at her behind. Her eyebrows raise.
The telephone RINGS.
IN THE LIVING ROOM
Jane shimmies toward the phone with a big smile on her face. She picks it up.
jane
Hello.
max (v.o.)
Hey -- it's Max. I've got some big news.
jane
What?
max (v.o.)
The audition's back on for the Silver show. This Friday.
jane
Friday? That's my birthday.
max (v.o.)
It'd be some present, wouldn't it?
jane
But how? I heard Molly Ryan got the part.
max (v.o.)
Just a rumor. What's fact is that they're way behind schedule; So, they need someone fast. Also, I was told Silver was furious when he heard what happened to you.
jane
He was?
max (v.o.)
He threatened to walk if you weren't given a fair chance.
jane
But -- but he doesn't even know me.
max (v.o.)
Well, you can ask him why yourself. He wants to take you to dinner tonight.
jane
Stu Silver wants to take me out?
max (v.o.)
That's right, kid. He's gonna come by for you at five o'clock unless I tell him otherwise. Well?
jane
Well what?
max (v.o.)
Should I tell him otherwise?
ext. bluff park - same
Jack looks out onto the ocean, sitting on a bench next to Stan, who's eating soup out of a plastic container.
Stan wipes his mouth.
stan
Aaahh. That was terrific onion soup, Jack. Thank you.
jack
You're welcome. I had plenty left over.
They quietly stare at the ocean for a few moments.
jack
Stan, have you ever been in love?
stan
I am in love.
jack
With who?
Stan reaches into his left breast pocket and pulls out a tarnished locket. He opens it and shows Jack an old picture of a young woman with sparkling eyes.
jack (cont'd)
She was beautiful.
stan
Is.
jack
Who is she?
stan
My wife. She passed on many years ago.
Stan puts the locket back into his breast pocket.
jack
I'm sorry.
stan
Don't be. I had something lots of people search their entire life for in vain.
jack
What's that?
stan
The once-in-a-lifetime.
Jack turns to Stan.
jack
How -- how did you know it was the once-in-a-lifetime?
Stan smiles and puts his hand on Jack's shoulder.
stan
When I didn't have to ask.
ext. 405 freeway onramp - later
The light turns green and a limousine drives out onto the freeway, under the boiling hot sun. Traffic is heavy.
ext. 405 freeway - later
The limousine goes a short distance before smoke pours out from under the hood.
ext. 405 freeway shoulder - later
Stu Silver and a CHAUFFEUR look at the engine of the limo.
stu
I really need to be in Long Beach by five.
chauffeur
I can call for another car, but there's no way you're gonna make it anywhere near on time.
The old brown car carrying the Hispanic men who helped Jane pulls up behind the limo.
The leader steps out and walks toward Stu and the chauffeur. Stu steps back in fright. The leader smiles.
leader
Need some help?
ext. café - later
Jack passes the building. He stops at the corner and looks at his apartment building down the street.
jack
(whispering)
Tell her, you dope.
He rushes across the street.
ext. apartment courtyard - same
Jane happily skips down the staircase wearing the same white dress she wore to her last audition. Only now it fits her perfectly.
At the bottom, she sees Jack rush inside.
Jane
Jack!
She runs up to him and gives him a big hug.
jack
I --
jane
-- You'll never guess what happened?
jack
Wh --
jane
-- The audition's back on!
jack
For the TV show?
jane
Stu Silver stuck up for me. Can you believe it?
jack
Well, he is Hollywood's nice guy.
jane
And now he's taking me to dinner. How do I look?
She poses.
jack
Like a star.
jane
Thanks to you.
She notices a limousine pull up.
jane (cont'd)
Well, that's him. I gotta go.
She rushes toward the front door.
jane (cont'd)
Woo hoo -- I'm going out with Stu Silver!
She grabs the doorknob, and turns back to him.
jane (cont'd)
Hey, you think we could read lines tomorrow?
jack
Sure. I think I still remember most of it.
jane
Oh, you. Wish me luck.
jack
Luck.
She turns, exits the building, and rushes toward the vehicle.
Jack walks to the front door and sadly watches the limousine take off.
int. back seat of limousine - same
Stu smiles at Jane, shaking his head.
stu
I can't believe it -- you look better now than you did on Gradesis.
jane
Thanks.
stu
That must've been twenty years ago.
jane
Just about.
stu
How do you do it?
She shrugs bashfully.
stu (cont'd)
Hey, could I get you a drink?
jane
Do you have any ice tea?
stu
Let me check.
He looks inside a mini refrigerator.
stu (cont'd)
How about some lemonade instead?
ext. downtown long beach - later
Jack wanders aimlessly among the crowd.
He stops at a light and looks around. He sees a couple holding hands. He turns in the opposite direction and sees another couple kissing.
int. expensive restaurant - same
Stu pours Jane a glass of wine.
stu
I was a humongous fan of "Gradesis High." Maybe the humongousest. The show was so -- so different. It was . . . it was un-Aristotelian.
jane
(not understanding)
Uh-huh.
stu
You know what I mean.
jane
Sure.
stu
I wanna create that same kind of thing in this show.
jane
Can I ask you something?
stu
Anything.
jane
I heard Molly Ryan got the part.
stu
Just a rumor.
jane
So, you really fought for me?
stu
I did.
jane
Why? You don't know me.
stu
But I want to.
ext. downtown long beach - SUNSET
Jack, walking with his head down, comes up to the storefront of a electronics store. He looks up and sees a seas of televisions in the window.
On one screen plays a rerun of Gradesis High that features a twenty-year-old Jane and a twenty-year-old Karyn. Jack smiles.
He continues on toward the next building, his eyes focused on the television. When he turns his head, he finds himself in front of a club called The Comedy Nexus. In the window, there's an announcement for an open mike the following day.
ext. expensive restaurant - same
Stu and Jane stand at the curb, looking into each other's eyes. He gently rubs her shoulder.
stu
I really, really want to work with you.
jane
Me, too.
The limousine pulls up from behind.
ext. apartment building - night
The limousine comes to a stop.
ext. limousine - same
Jane steps out of the vehicle. Stu follows.
jane
I don't know how to thank you.
stu
Kill 'em on Friday.
He looks deeply into her eyes and moves in close. She blushes.
jane
You -- you wanna come upstairs?
stu
Soon.
He passionately kisses her. Her arms flail about a bit. When he finally breaks their embrace, she's in a near stupor. He smiles.
stu (cont'd)
Real soon.
He gets back into the limousine, and the vehicle takes off.
She waves goodbye -- her wave soon turning into a fan, which she uses on herself.
She takes a deep breath.
ext. bluff park - day
Jack and Sal feed some feral cats.
sal
What's the sudden urge to perform?
jack
I don't know. I guess it's just time to reach out for what I want.
sal
Well, I don't know too much about standup, but the guys I like the best are the ones who can laugh at their most painful experiences.
ext. apartment building - sunset
The sun dips just below the roof.
int. jack's apartment - same
Jack looks at himself in front of a full-length mirror. He's dressed much nicer than usual.
jack
I'm gonna really show her.
Jack smiles and waves.
jack (cont'd)
Thank you. Thank you for that warm introduction.
He combs his hair.
jack (cont'd)
You probably can't tell, but I'm one of those Wall Street traders you've heard about. You know, the kind responsible for losing your life savings. Perhaps some of you even lost your job because of me.
He puts his hand on his forehead as if he's searching.
jack (cont'd)
Anyone?
He points.
jack (cont'd)
You, sir? . . . Ha-ha.
He giggles.
He looks back at the sofa. After staring at it for a few moments, he waves dismissively at it.
jack (cont'd)
Ah, what do you know!
ext. outside jack's apartment - later
He exits wearing a sports coat, and looks at Jane's apartment.
ext. downtown long beach - later
Jack stops at a street light.
jack
But seriously, folks, I take no joy in destroying the lives of thousands. . . . Okay, so maybe I do.
A MAN comes up to the corner and looks at Jack as if he were crazy. Jack clears his throat.
jack (cont'd)
I'm not really talking to myself.
The man smiles and nods condescendingly as he slowly backs away.
ext. the comedy nexus - later
Jack brashly walks up to the front door. He grabs the handle; but after pausing for a few moments, turns and begins to walk away. After a few steps, he stops.
jane (v.o.)
Great advice, coming from a guy who's never tried.
He turns around and enters the club.
int. the comedy nexus - later
Jack, standing by himself against the wall, sips a drink. Nearby, a group of COMEDIANS, who seem to know each other, mingle.
The MC, a large middle-aged man with long curly hair and a Hawaiian shirt, approaches carrying a clipboard, from which he reads.
mc
Jack Corsette.
Jack raises his hand nervously.
jack
That's me.
mc
You're up first.
jack
First?
mc
Is that a problem?
jack
No.
later
Jack, standing near the stage, looks out at the large audience, who are laughing uproariously at the MC's previous joke.
manager (o.s.)
You have five minutes.
Jack turns and looks at the MANAGER -- a small man wearing a heavily starched white dress shirt -- who's sitting at a table nearby holding a stopwatch.
manager (cont'd)
Not a second more.
Jack turns back to the stage.
mc
Tonight, folks, is our open mike. Which means the comedians aren't professionals. Which means they
. . . they're gonna suck.
The crowd chuckles.
mc (cont'd)
But don't you dare complain. That means you, sir. Yes, you, with the bad haircut. Speaking of bad haircuts, without further adieu, here's Jack Cooooorsette!
Jack turns back to the manager, who pushes the button on top of the stopwatch.
Jack walks up to the stage. He hears the TICKING of the stopwatch in his head.
On the stage, Jack shakes the MC's hand. The MC demonstratively wipes his hand on his shirt and leaves the stage. Jack steps up to the microphone, way too close. He smiles at the audience.
jack
Hi.
Feedback explodes through the club.
The MC comically marches up to the microphone and over-dramatically moves it forward. The crowd chuckles.
jack (cont'd)
Hi.
Jack hears the TICKING of the stopwatch. He puts his hand to his forehead as if he's trying to remember what to say next. He hears laughter.
He looks at the audience and sees a group of YOUNG MEN pointing at him derisively.
He reaches for the microphone. His hand is shaking.
TICK, TICK, TICK.
jack (cont'd)
Thank . . . thank you.
Jack rushes off stage, to polite applause, and scurries down the steps. The manager, who's staring at the stopwatch, hits the button.
manager
One minute, twelve seconds.
mc (o.s.)
See . . . what did I tell you?
The audience laughs. Jack slowly walks toward the other comedians, who are giggling among themselves, staring at Jack as he approaches.
mc (o.s.; cont'd)
But give Jack credit -- this ain't easy. At least he gave it the old college try. That is, if your school hadn't won a game in ten years.
The audience laughs. Jack rushes toward the exit.
ext. apartment courtyard - later
Jack dejectedly walks up the stairs and toward his apartment.
Jane rushes out of her unit smiling, clutching her script. Jack stops and forces a smile.
Jane
Hey!
jack
Hey.
jane
Don't you look nice.
jack
Thanks.
He walks toward his door.
jane
Are we gonna read today?
He stops and turns to her.
jack
Can we do it tomorrow?
jane
Sure.
He starts walking again.
jane (cont'd)
Is everything all right?
jack
Peachy.
He enters his unit and slams the door behind himself, causing Jane to jump slightly in fright. She worriedly looks at his door.
int. jack's apartment - same
Jack leans against the door and turns the deadbolt.
int. shopping mall - day
Karyn and Jane stop in front of the bridal gown with the long train. Jane looks as if she were somewhere else. They are both wearing sunglasses.
karyn
I don't get you.
jane
What?
karyn
You've got the world's most beautiful man wooing you and you're moping around as if you'd been dumped.
jane
It's Jack.
karyn
Jack?
jane
He was really upset last night. I've never seen him like that.
karyn
Is this the same Jack who's just a friend?
Jane looks at Karyn inquisitively, as if she didn't know the answer.
ext. bluff - sunset
Sitting on a bench next to Jack -- who's staring blankly at the ocean -- Jane looks at her script.
jack
(emotionlessly)
Are you being purposely slow?
jane
It's the shoes.
Jack turns to Jane.
jack
I thought you were gonna stick to the script.
jane
Yeah.
Jack turns back to the ocean.
jack
Let's try again. Are you being purposely slow?
Jane looks up from her script.
jane
What's wrong?
jack
That's not your line.
jane
I'm serious, Jack. What's wrong? Why were you dressed up last night? Were you on a date?
jack
A date? I haven't been on a date in more than a decade.
jane
Why not?
jack
I guess I've been waiting.
jane
For what?
jack
The once-in-a-lifetime.
She turns away from him, looking forward.
jane
Why won't you tell me what's wrong?
jack
Nothing's wrong. I've never been happier.
She turns back to him.
jane
You keep saying that. But if you really were, you wouldn't need to say it.
She puts her hands on his.
jane (cont'd)
I thought we were friends -- best friends. I tell you everything.
jack
I . . .
jane
Yes?
jack
I want to wish you "happy birthday."
She sighs.
jack (cont'd)
I would've told you tomorrow, but I'm guessing it'll be pretty hectic for you.
jane
Doomsday finally arrives. Tell me, what's it like turning forty?
jack
I wish I could tell you. I missed mine.
jane
How could you miss your own birthday?
jack
I was still a trader back then. I worked right through it. It was a week before I even realized it had passed.
jane
No one sent you a gift, or even a card?
jack
I didn't make a whole lot of friends back then. You see, I wasn't a very nice person.
jane
It's hard to believe.
jack
(with rising anger)
Why's that?
jane
Because you're the nicest guy I've ever met.
jack
And we all know where nice guys end up. Unless, of course, you're an Adonis like Stu Silver.
jane
Where is this coming from? What's gotten into you?
jack
I'm tired of being a doormat. Maybe a little of the old Jack needs to come back.
jane
Well, keep him away from me.
jack
What makes you think he wants to be near you?
She grabs her script and jumps up.
jane
I don't deserve this!
ext. apartment courtyard - later
Jane finds a registered letter notice on her mailbox.
int. post office - later
Jane takes a letter from a CLERK and opens it.
She reads how a credit card company is suing her.
int. jane's bedroom - morning
The sun streams through the venetian blinds onto Jane, who's lying on her bed staring at a wall calendar.
int. jane's bathroom - later
Jane stares at herself in the mirror.
ext. outside Jane's apartment - later
Jane exits her apartment wearing a tight black dress, which comes to her knees, and white sneakers. She's carrying her script in her hand and has a large purse across her shoulder.
She pauses briefly, looking at Jack's door, before walking toward the staircase.
int. jack's apartment - same
Through the venetian blinds, Jack watches Jane walk down the staircase.
ext. street - later
Jane slowly walks with her head down.
int. jack's apartment - later
Jack stares up close at E. E. Cummings' self-portrait.
He touches the picture.
ext. bus stop - later
Jane stops by the edge of the sidewalk.
She hears a bus coming from behind and turns her head.
ext. street - later
Jack rushes toward a perpendicular street that has many bus stops.
A bus labeled "LOS ANGELES" turns the corner and zooms past him. He turns around; and stepping backward, watches the bus ride off. He waves at it as he reaches the corner.
He turns his head and sees Jane waiting a block away, looking at him in surprise.
He rushes toward her, stopping a few steps from her. For a few moments they don't say anything.
| JANE | JACK |
| I . . . | I . . . |
| JANE | JACK |
| You first. | You first. |
jack
I'm sorry.
She hugs him. He hesitantly puts his arms around her, but quickly pulls them away.
jane
Me, too.
He gently breaks her embrace.
jack
Please don't be sorry. You don't deserve it.
jane
(shaking head)
Oh, Jack -- if you would just let me inside.
jack
You have enough to worry about. Today's the big day.
She smiles.
jane
Forty.
jack
How does it feel?
jane
Okay, I guess. I'm sure it'll hit me later.
He sees a bus labeled "LOS ANGELES" pulling up behind her and starts slowly walking backward.
jack
It's a new beginning for you. You're gonna wow them. I just know it.
jane
I'm so scared.
jack
I guess -- I guess you wouldn't want me to come with you.
jane
Would you?
He stops and smiles.
jack
What are best friends for?
The bus stops beside her.
ext. los angeles - later
The bus trudges through traffic.
int. bus - same
Jane reads her script while Jack stares forward. They are sitting in a set of seats that run along the length of the bus.
She looks at him nervously.
jack
You'll do fine.
jane
What if I don't?
jack
Then, there'll be another audition. And another after that. You're never giving up.
ext. los angeles street corner - later
The bus pulls away, revealing Jane and Jack.
They glance at each other before walking toward a glass skyscraper that towers over them.
ext. bookstore - later
As they pass, Jack notices something in the window and stops.
jane
What?
jack
They've got a book I've been looking for. Would you mind . . .
jane
Go ahead. I'm way early.
later
Jack exits with a bag.
jane
Got it?
jack
Got it.
int. reception area - later
Jack, sitting on a sofa, opens his book.
By a door, Jane finishes putting on a pair of high heels and puts her sneakers in her purse. She grabs the doorknob and turns back to Jack.
He smiles.
int. room - same
MAX VLADIVOSTOCK, a corpulent little man in his seventies, answers a cell phone.
max
Max Vladivostock. Hey, how's it going?
Jane enters the room. Max sees her. His eyes widen in surprise.
max (cont'd)
Let me call you back. Bye.
He hangs up.
max (cont'd)
You must be Jane's daughter. Where's Jane?
jane
Max -- I love you.
She gives him a big hug. He looks down at her behind and his eyebrows raise.
max
I mean it, kid. Have you found a time machine? Whooooooa.
He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the sweat from his forehead.
The door opens and JULIE, a woman in her fifties with horn-rimmed glasses, enters carrying a set of folders. She has a broad smile on her face.
julie
You must be Jane.
Julie offers her hand and Jane shakes it.
julie (cont'd)
I'm Julie, your casting director.
Julie cackles. Jane looks at her strangely.
julie (cont'd)
That's a Love Boat joke.
jane
Ah-ha.
julie
To break the tension.
jane
It certainly worked.
julie
It's too bad that so many young people today have never even seen that show.
Julie raises her glasses and looks carefully at Jane's face.
julie (cont'd)
Fortunately, you don't have that problem.
Jane forces a smile.
int. stage - later
Jane and an ACTRESS face each other.
actress
Another Saturday night without a date.
jane
I know how you feel.
actress
(with surprise)
You do?
jane
(with perfect timing and expression)
I haven't had a date in ages. Or even a raisin.
People laugh off-screen.
later
Jane and the actress walk across the stage.
actress
Are you being purposely slow?
Jane points to her feet.
jane
It's the shoes.
int. room - later
Jane, who's sitting in a chair with her arms crossed -- with an unhappy expression on her face -- shakes her head.
jane
(whispering)
I can't believe I said it.
An intercom buzzer RINGS.
voice
Hey, would you send Ms. De Klerk in?
int. reception area - later
Jack turns a page of his book. He hears a door CREAK open and looks up.
Jane stoically enters with Max, Julie, and three MALE EXECUTIVES.
She smiles.
Jack jumps up with his book in hand.
jack
Got it?
jane
Got it.
Stu bursts in.
stu
That was unbelievable!
Stu takes Jane into his arms and passionately kisses her. Jack lowers his head despondently, placing his arms behind his back. Jane breaks Stu's embrace, looking a bit embarrassed.
stu (cont'd)
I mean, I knew you were a good actress, but I had no idea you were such a great comedienne. Baby, we were totally floored. Totally.
Jane turns to Jack. He raises his head and forces a smile.
jack
Well, I guess I should be going.
jane
I've got to do some things here, but we'll talk when I get back.
jack
(choking up slightly)
Actually, I'm gonna be gone for a while.
Jack turns around and walks toward the door.
jane
Gone? Where?
Jack stops, but doesn't turn around.
jack
There's a little town on the edge of the Sahara. I hear it's beautiful.
Jack exits and walks toward the elevator bank in front of him.
max
Who was that?
jane
I wish I knew.
The elevator door opens, and Jack steps inside the glass cabin.
int. elevator bank - later
Jane, Stu, Max, Julie, and the three executives wait as the elevator door opens.
executive 1
That was a wonderful ad-lib you threw in at the end, Ms. De Klerk. We want to put it in the show.
They step into the elevator.
int. elevator - same
As Jane steps inside, she sees Jack through the glass, walking across a large concourse.
executive 2
How lucky were we that Molly backed out? This woman's way better.
The elevator starts upward. Jane turns to Executive 2 and stares pensively at him for a few moments. Stu notices this and looks uneasy.
Jane turns back toward the outside and Jack.
stu
Siobhan, are you okay?
Jane turns to Stu and glares at him.
stu (cont'd)
I mean, Jane.
Jane turns back outside.
executive 1
After we sign the contracts, we'll all head out to Amadeus.
max
Oh, goody -- I'm starved.
executive 3
Don't worry, Max -- we got a table reserved just for you.
max
Only one?
The executives laugh.
stu
(whispering to Jane)
What that guy said is true. Molly did back out at the last second. But I did want you. I really did. You believe me, don't you?
Jane watches Jack get smaller and smaller.
jane
Have you ever been in love?
stu
Sure. Who hasn't?
jane
Me.
The elevator stops. Everyone walks out. At the threshold, Jane stops. The others turn back to her.
She presses the button for the ground floor.
stu
Where you going?
jane
After the once-in-a-lifetime.
max
What the hell does that mean?
The elevator door closes.
max (o.s.; cont'd)
(screaming)
Jane, are you flipping out on me?
The elevator starts downward. She looks out through the glass. She still sees Jack, but he's now a good distance away.
ext. building - same
Jane presses her hands and face against the glass of the elevator as she descends.
int. building, ground floor - later
The elevator door opens and Jane storms out. She runs down the lobby, but after a few steps, stops, takes off her heels, tosses them onto the floor, and rushes toward the exit.
ext. building - later
Jane runs out. As she passes a garbage can, she tosses her heavy purse into it, and continues on.
ext. street - later
Jane turns a corner and sees, in the far distance, a bus pulling up in front of Jack.
jane
Jack!
Not hearing her, he steps onboard.
ext. nearby street - same
One of the Hispanic men who helped Jane -- who's leaning against the old brown car by himself -- looks forward. He has a curious expression on his face.
jane (o.s.)
Jack!
He turns his head.
ext. street - same
Jane watches the bus take off.
She grabs the hem of her tight dress and rips it open enough to allow her legs full range of movement.
She takes off after the bus. Before long, she's flying.
As the bus gets further and further away -- despite the hopeless nature of her quest -- her pace gets faster, the determination on her face becomes stronger.
The old brown car with the half-dozen Hispanic men inside pulls up beside her. The leader peeks out his head.
leader
Need a lift?
int. back seat of old brown car - later
Jane, who sitting against the passenger door next to the leader, smiles at him.
jane
You're a regular Don Quixote.
leader
And you, Princess Dulcinea.
She reaches over and puts the palm of her hand on the leader's left cheek and gently kisses his right. He blushes.
The leader looks around the car and sees that everyone but the driver is smiling at him with their hands on their cheeks.
leader (cont'd)
What are you guys looking at?
ext. street - same
The old brown car, whose license plate reads "ROCINANTE," speeds toward the bus.
The car overtakes the bus and jumps in front of it, forcing it to come to a screeching halt.
ext. old brown car - same
Jane jumps out. She smilingly waves to the men.
jane
Hasta la vista!
men (o.s.)
Hasta la vista!
int. bus - same
The MALE BUS DRIVER, who looks in a state of shock, opens the front door. Jane steps inside and looks anxiously at him.
jane
I don't have any change.
He catatonically waves her through.
She walks down the aisle. As the bus takes off, she brushes her hair with her hands and straightens her dress.
Jack, who's sitting in the same exact seat as on the way there, stares forward, not looking at her.
A copy of E. E. Cummings' Fairy Tales lies on the seat to the left of him.
She sits down on the seat to the right of him and stares forward.
For a few moments, there's only silence.
JANE (CONT'D)
Before we go, I'm gonna need some sun block.
His eyes water.
She puts her left hand out in front of her, palm up -- her eyes remaining forward, challenging him to reach out for what he wants.
He furtively glances at her hand. Hesitantly, he lifts his right hand, palm down, and touches hers. His hand is shaking, almost imperceptibly.
Their hands turn upside down, so that hers is on top.
Their fingers interlock. Their bodies twitch.
He gently puts his left hand on top of their joined hands as he leans his head on her shoulder. She takes a deep breath, leans her head on his, and closes her eyes. She smiles.
A tear drop slides down his face.
ext. street - same
The bus rides off into the sunset.
fade out:
<< Home